When the office splits into tribes...and how to make peace with it

I’ve always been a bit slow when it comes to office politics. Maybe it’s because I tend to trust people, or maybe I just like chatting with everyone. But these “cliques” – the ones you’d expect only in TV dramas – I usually noticed them when they were already fully established.

Take this office I used to visit. There was a colleague, let’s call her Laura (which is actually her real name, but hey, there are plenty of Lauras out there). One day she told me:

“If you don’t take sides here, you disappear.”

At first, I thought she was being dramatic. Then I realized she was spot on.

That office wasn’t just a team; it was the Middle Ages. Two tribes: the “old guard” with their sharp wit and long tenure, and the “young guns” full of enthusiasm and English buzzwords.

In the middle: no man’s land. Or better said, a minefield.

Now, I get it. We all want to feel like we belong. It’s human to look for allies. But when that sense of belonging becomes “us versus them,” say goodbye to peace of mind. Every idea, every joke, every suggestion gets filtered by who said it and what camp they’re in.

And the boss? Lovely guy. But he handled it like a hotel manager during a guest dispute:

“Let’s not get involved, as long as things stay quiet.”

But silence, in situations like these, can be deafening.

Eventually, Laura got tired of it. She stopped trying to please everyone and started doing something radical: being herself. She had lunch with a quiet colleague no one really noticed. She shared ideas with the whole group, not just a select few. She even sat down with her manager and told him how things felt.

It wasn’t a Hollywood-style turnaround. But something shifted. One by one, others started following her lead. Like someone had cracked open a window in a stuffy room.

You see, toxic alliances break when one person steps out of the game. When you stop choosing sides and start building bridges.

And the leader? Oh, they matter. A good leader doesn’t need to play referee, but they can’t be just a bystander either. They need to notice the vibe in the room, not just the deadlines on the calendar. They encourage conversations across lines, reward collaboration, and value those who unite rather than divide.

Healthy alliances don’t come from fear, they grow from trust. They don’t separate peoplem they bring them closer. And they don’t depend on loyalty, they thrive on authenticity.

In the end, I believe offices are a lot like apartment buildings: you can live peacefully if you greet everyone and don’t slam the doors. But if you start saying “the people on the third floor are too loud,” “the ones on the fourth are too snobby,” well... no one’s going to sleep well.

Maybe it’s not about picking the right side. Maybe it’s about deciding what kind of colleague you want to be.

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Feeling stuck in workplace dynamics that drain your energy?

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