If you don’t take care of yourself, don’t expect others to do it

If you don’t take care of yourself, don’t expect others to do it

My grandmother used to say that. No preaching, just a quiet truth. While softly closing the window, to keep the draft out.

And yet, in those few words lived the wisdom of someone who had learned that, in the end, no one can live your life for you.

We're taught early on to care for others. To be kind, helpful, present.

But rarely are we taught to care for ourselves. To treat ourselves with respect.

To rest before we’re exhausted. To tell ourselves the truth, even when it’s inconvenient.

Yet inside each of us, there’s a garden. A living, sensitive, mysterious space.

Some keep it locked. Some forget it exists. Some trample over it every day with muddy shoes.

But that garden, whether we see it or not, grows. And if we don’t care for it, weeds take over.

Roots tangle, flowers close. And one day, we stop noticing there’s no light left.

Taking care of yourself means returning to that garden every now and then.

You don’t have to make it perfect. You just need to listen to it. See it. Be there.

It’s not about pushing. It’s about presence, consistency, and small gestures:

an hour of silence, an answer we choose not to give,a walk with no destination, a “no” we finally allow ourselves to say.

This isn’t selfishness. It’s nourishment for the soul.

Because when we neglect ourselves too long, we forget what it feels like to feel good inside.

And when we forget ourselves, the world starts to weigh us down.

Even the beautiful things become tiring.

We are our most important project. And no one else can take care of our garden.

People can walk beside us, bring us a new pot, maybe a seed…

But it’s up to us to make space, pull out the dry grass, open our hands, stay.

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Taking care of yourself is an invisible act, but a vital one. That’s where the quiet strength to face things is born. If you feel it’s time to return to your inner garden, we can explore it together.

Book a free, no-obligation initial session to explore your goals, understand how coaching can support you, and possibly access a pro bono coaching cycle with me.

Nicola Arnese offers these sessions in his spare time, to avoid any conflict with other professional commitments. Some flexibility in scheduling may be required.