Here's an insightful story from Alain Cardon, MCC-ACTC (ICF) s blog:
“A traveler spotted an elderly person sitting on a bench on the outskirts of a city he was approaching. After engaging in a conversation, he asked "What are the people like in this community?"The elder carefully studied the traveler and then asked "What were the people like in the last city you visited?"_"Oh!" replied the traveler with a frown, "They were not so nice. They were distant, devious, untrustworthy, just trying to get an edge on me, trying to cheat me. I really had to watch for myself all the time. Not a good experience!"So the elder also frowned and answered: "Well, in this city, people are pretty much the same".
A little later, another traveler approached the same elder, still sitting on the bench. After a short conversation, the traveler put the same question: "What are the people like in this community?"The elder also returned the usual question. "What were the people like in the previous city you have visited?"With a smile, the traveler said: "Really great!. They were open, friendly, always volunteering help and directions. I felt really welcomed and had a great time!" And the elder smiled back and answered "Well, in this city, people are pretty much the same"
Alain Cardon sees this tale as a mirror of life itself. Our views shape our experiences as we move between jobs, teams, and relationships. The trap? We often find what we expect to find, reinforcing our own beliefs. People change jobs or relationships hoping for a better scene, but end up with the same issues. The problem is that we bring our mindset wherever we go.
« The grass always seems greener on the other side of the hill » goes the saying… but the trouble is that we often take our grass with us.
Alain suggests a way out. If the elder in the story had been a forward-thinking coach, he might have asked, "What kind of people do you wish to meet?" or "Describe your dream community." Such questions help us focus on what we really want, opening us to new possibilities. And this shift, Alain concludes, can make those new experiences real.